THE WAKE OF DEVASTATION

If a person dies by suicide and they had an opportunity for a do-over, do you think they would follow through with it again? Do you wonder if they have a moment of regret right before it happens?

Experts say that when someone is in this place, their brain cannot rationalize. They have no concept of the aftermath and how it will affect their loved ones. This person believes the world is a better place without them, they are no good to anyone, and they just want the pain to stop.  Sometimes they get a sense of euphoria when they have a plan in place, they will tell everyone they are doing great and they are in a good head space. This is because they feel a sense of power; they know their demons will be gone soon. In their mind, their loved ones will be better off without them.

Unfortunately, most of us know someone who has died by suicide. Which means we know all too well the turn of events that take place right after. The overwhelming grief, sense of helplessness and sadness take over those of us left behind.

I should have called them again, I should have went to their house even if they said they were fine, I should have seen the signs, I should have known better, I could have done more! These are all the thoughts that go through our minds when these types of tragedies occur.

So what do you do now that it happened and you are left in the wake of devastation? The best thing you can do is take care of your own mental health in these moments. If that means gathering with your loved ones and others affected by the loss then do that. Don’t leave each other hanging, stay close to the ones you need. Let yourself feel whatever emotions come, don’t try to stuff them down. Feel what you feel and let the moment pass. Let your thoughts (good or bad) come and go. There are no right ways to heal, listen to yourself and to your body. You will know what you need. Over time you will find ways to cope and ways to heal. Over time you will find a new way of living.

Moving on does not mean that you have forgotten about this person, it means you have accepted that they are no longer physically here with you. Let yourself find happiness again, use memories of them to keep you going.

Find peace in knowing they are no longer suffering and they are in a better place.

  • Take your experience of losing someone to suicide and spread awareness
  • Find local groups in your area or even online about mental health/suicide prevention and get involved
  • Offer your ear to others affected by the same or similar experiences. Let people know you are here to listen and to help them through whatever they may be experiencing.

Please reach out to us via email or find us on social media if you have questions, need a neutral ear or just want to share your story. We would love to hear from you!

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I am a native Rhode Islander who is a wife, mother, sister, daughter and proud supporter of Blue Lives. My brother has been a police officer for the past 20+years and while he loves his job, the reality of it is, today's world is scary, times have changed and there is a continuous lack of respect for law enforcement. I am passionate about raising awareness on suicide prevention and mental health stigmas for police officers and first responder all over the country. I believe the more people talk about mental health, the less taboo it will be, espeically for the protectors.

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